Taratories Blog

Confliction: Wales Residency

Today I spent most of the day in the studio except for my morning coffee at Adam and Andy’s when I blogged and researched.  I think that no time outside walking or with people was not a good idea.  Today was one of those days that seemed to be a little puzzle piece to my artistic journey.  Although nothing eventful happened today, I feel as though I had activity going on in my heart and in my brain that counted for something.  As I was working, I had thoughts that started to mess with me while I was working and threw me into a weird state. 

I find that there are parts about being an artist that can be quite challenging.  It is so hard to find the balance of doing what you love and being authentic and true to yourself in your art, and making art that other people with enjoy and ultimately end up buying.  Making art for art’s sake is something that I find is hard to do sometimes.  Usually I am working on a commissioned piece for a client and there is someone who has in a way already accepted it and has agreed to purchase it.  Doing art the way I am doing it in Wales is very different. 

I haven’t worked like this in a long time and it is a very vulnerable thing to do.  Art is so personal and there will only be a certain percentage of people that will get my work and appreciate it for what it is.  I am struggling with letting go of what people’s opinions will be and if I will ever sell any pieces that I work on.  I know that these are thoughts that I need to disregard while I am here because the whole point of this trip is not to make work that I will be guaranteed to sell or that people will like.  The point is doing art just for the sake of doing it and being true to myself.  If people like it, then great, but I know I shouldn’t worry about that right now.  It is a sacrifice of time with family, money, and extra work for my husband, and I want to know that what I am doing is worthy of all of it. This is self inflicted so I know that I just need to work through it and just do what I am called to do here and the rest will work itself out. I have been reading Proverbs while I am here and praying for wisdom.  I want to find wisdom in the way that I create while I am here and I know that the Lord is near and that He will guide me. I need to trust in that…